The Fawn trauma response—what we can think of as the Peace Keeper.  Think of Buddy the Elf from Elf—joyful, always eager to help, and endlessly striving for connection, often at his own expense. Buddy embodies the heart of the fawn response: a natural tendency to keep the peace, prioritize others’ needs, and seek approval, sometimes without recognizing our own.

While this instinct can be an asset in forming bonds and showing empathy, the fawn response can also lead to self-abandonment. With time, the endless energy spent accommodating others can leave you feeling uncertain and disconnected from what you need.

Understanding the Fawn Response: A Neuroscience Perspective

When we’re in “fawn mode,” our brain is working hard to maintain safety by tuning in to the emotions, reactions, and needs of those around us. Neuroscience shows that this heightened sensitivity is driven by the insular cortex, the brain’s hub for processing interoception (awareness of bodily states) and emotions. In a fawn response, the insular cortex is constantly scanning for social cues, helping you navigate potential conflict by “reading the room.”

The vagus nerve also plays a role here. It’s the nerve that regulates relaxation responses and communicates between your gut, heart, and brain. For those with a strong fawn tendency, stimulating the vagus nerve can reduce feelings of tension and help create a sense of internal safety, which in turn supports tuning into your needs, not just others’.

Here’s your brain based tutorial for the fawn trauma response:

Buddy’s story illustrates that true connection isn’t just about giving—it’s also about setting boundaries and valuing yourself. Just as Buddy learns to honor his own needs and seek genuine, balanced relationships, you can learn to engage your empathy without abandoning yourself. Here’s how:

1. Practice Self Check-Ins: Take moments throughout the day to pause and ask, “How am I feeling right now?” and “Where am I feeling this in my body?” This exercise supports interoception, helping you reconnect to your physical sensations and emotions, and builds a sense of self-awareness and self-worth.

2. Embrace Lion’s Breath for Releasing Tension: Lion’s Breath, a breath technique often used in yoga, is a powerful way to soothe your nervous system and connect with yourself. This breath involves inhaling deeply, then exhaling forcefully with your tongue out, making a “ha” sound. This practice directly stimulates the vagus nerve, reducing anxiety and grounding your mind and body. The insular cortex, responsible for sensing bodily needs, is activated during this practice, allowing you to connect more deeply to your own sensations and emotions.

How to Practice Lion’s Breath:

• Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and take a deep breath through your nose.
• As you exhale, stick out your tongue and make a loud “ha” sound.
• Repeat a few times, noticing how it feels to express yourself fully and release any pent-up energy.

The fawn response is rooted in empathy and care, which can be gifts to yourself and others when balanced with self-honoring practices. By checking in, using grounding practices like Lion’s Breath, and practicing small acts of boundary-setting, you’re rewiring your brain to understand that safety can exist without abandoning yourself.

Like Buddy, who learns to thrive in connection without losing himself, you too can find joy in relationships that honor your whole self. Here’s to a journey of empathy and self-connection—finding warmth and balance for yourself and those around you.

Curious to learn more about the other three trauma responses? How we react to stress can change over time or depending on the situation. It’s helpful to understand how to support yourself and recognize when someone else is triggered. Feel free to visit THIS BLOG for a summary of each trauma response and practical ways to navigate them.